I Can't Help It!!!!!

So I'm a huge mess of emotions right now. Up until last night, I had only cried once. And that was from looking at picture frames on Babies R Us. It was a really cute one.

Last night, I was in a terrible mood. It's like PMS, only 12 times worse. And I knew I was in a bad mood, but I guess when you are pregnant, you can't help it. I hate being mean to Blue Eyes. After a evening of being in the worse mood of my LIFE, we got ready to go to bed. I always feel nauseous at night, which makes my mood even worse. He already laid down, and I started to and then remembered that I hadn't taken my medicine yet. I got frustrated, mostly with myself, and stood back up,and he was like, "You don't have to be such a grumpy ass."

I lost it.

I stood up, grabbed my medicine, and started crying. In the middle of my cry fest I said, "I can't heeeeelllllllllp ittt!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I walked off towards the kitchen and B.E. told me to come back, but I couldn't. I went in the kitchen to take my medicine but crying hysterically makes that a little bit difficult. When I was finally done, I went and laid down. He asked me if I was done crying. I wanted to cry again, but I didn't. He kissed my cheek and told me he loved me and we went to bed. Then I woke up like every hour.

Uhhh. I really hope tonight is a better night.


How can you make yourself in a better mood when your hormones are going crazy?!?!

Doctor appointment and Goodwill Wednesday are tomorrow!! Don't faaaaa-git!

My First Award!

Wow! How exciting! My first ever award was given to me by The Two Twins. It's the Honest Scrap award, and according to their description, the Honest Scrap award is given by other bloggers who consider a blog's content or design to be brilliant. The awardee must then post ten honest things about themselves and pass the award on to other bloggers who fit the bill.

Thank you ladies!!

Ok...so here we go!

1) Since the day I found out I was pregnant, I have not slept the entire night without waking up and thinking I must be hurting the baby because of the way I'm sleeping or laying. Even though I know the baby is the size of a pin head right now. I am so paranoid.

2) I have taken 8 pregnancy tests, because again, I am so paranoid. I know I'm pregnant. I feel like crap and it's been confirmed by my Doctor. But still. Par-a-no-ia.

3) I usually sit at my desk everyday and read blogs instead of doing my work. I mean, for the most part, I get my work done, but, I would say 80% of my day is spent reading blogs and searching for new blogs to read.

4) I cuss more than I would like to. Not in public and not at work, but at home. Before this baby is born (or grows ears for that matter) I would really like to control my mouth.

5) I put my headset on at work when someone walks in my office so I don't have to talk to them. Not Blue Eyes or my boss, but the other tards I work with.

6) I am very, very, very scared of roaches. They are gross and they just freak me out and I would rather run around the street nekkid, than even SEE a roach. Ickkk.

7) I made up names for everyone I work with. They aren't nice names.

8) My brother Josh and I used to play this office game where we had our own business. The business was called Graphics World and I was the employee and he would call in and order things. He was always someone different. The last time we played this game I was probably 14. How embarrassing.

9) I watch B.E. sleep when I can't because he looks so peaceful and he isn't an "ugly sleeper". He is very handsome in his sleep!

10) After doing this, I realized how hard it was for me to come up with ten honest things about myself. Sad.

Whew. That took a lot out of me. Seriously.

So, the blogs I would like to pass this award to are:

*Courtni at Living Wicked

*Ashley at Three P's In A Pod

*Andhari at Insomniac Lolita

I could have tagged so many others, but what fun would that have been? Maybe if I get another award some day, I can tag everyone else!!

Have a great Monday!!

Oh-Fish-Allly Getting Married

The 4th of July will now be known as my favorite holiday. Why you ask? Because Blue Eyes asked me to marry hims.

Yay!!

Obviously, I knew it was going to happen soon, but I didn't know it was going to happen this weekend! I know he was so excited to give me my ring, so before we left the house to go to his Dad's he called me into the office. When I went in there he was on his knee with my ring and just simply asked me if I would marry him. I started laughing because I was shocked!! But of course I said yes!
Here's a picture of my ring. It's so hard to get a good one because it's so SPARKLY it turns out funny in the pictures!
The rest of the weekend was great, and he keeps calling me his fiancee all the time! My cousin Kaleigh was here and she had a lot of fun!! We tried to go camping, but I was miserable. It was so hot and there were so many flies, so we came back home and went swimming at his Dad's instead.

Our next doctor's appointment is Wednesday, July 8, and I hope so badly that we can see something when we get the ultrasound done! Even a tiny little speck/blob will do! Oh and another bit of good news? None of my shorts fit me. :/

Here is a picture of us after we got engaged. He really is happy, I promise. He was "concentrating" on taking the picture, is what he told me! And jeez my face is already getting round!!!!!
How was yalls July 4th??

Goodwill Wednesday-Edition 3

Allow me to introduce you to Tito.
Tito never leaves his dog house without his stylish bandanna, too-cool-for-school shades, a sweet leather jacket, and a nice little hoop earring.

When Tito isn't chowing down on homemade tacos and rice, he is at the local pool hall, drinking his favorite beer, Miller Light. His theme song is Low Rider, and I'll let the video prove to you, just how kick ass Tito really is.

(sorry about the poor sound. i took this with my blackberry, in my office, hoping nobody would walk by.)





Don't forget to go here to see other awesome Goodwill Treasures!!

Ahh..That's The Sound Of Me Breathing...

Breathing relief that is.

My numbers went up just like they were supposed to. Wednesday, my HCG levels were 383. Today they were 735. The nurse said they were "beautiful". I'll take that as a very good thing. She said since my numbers are that low, and we couldn't see anything on the ultrasound, that I'm probably only a few weeks. This is going to be a long 9 months. I go back July 8 for another ultrasound. I hope we can see our little blob! I haven't been sick yet. The only thing that I've had is pain in my booooobies and I'm really tired in the afternoons.

This weekend I'm going to try and clean the house really good because Thursday we are going to get my 10 year old cousin and she is going to stay with us for the Fourth of July weekend. She's so much fun to be around!!

Well, looks like I have a wedding to plan. Yay!

Unexpected Happiness

I missed Goodwill Wednesday, and for that, I am very sorry. But, my friends, other things have been going on in Breezy's Crazy World, and I think I am ready to share them.

Last Thursday, I went grocery shopping. While shopping, I decided to just pick up a pregnancy test. Since I have polycystic ovaries, my periods are very irregular. So I never know if I'm late or what. When I got home I took said test. Oh. That looks like a faint plus sign, I say to myself. So I say, "Hey Blue Eyes, what does this look like to you?" Blue Eyes responds with, "It looks like a plus sign." I said, "Yea, that's kind of what I thought too." He told me to go get another test and so off to the store I went. I came back with two more, which, would also be positive. The next day I called my OB's office and talked to my nurse. She said there was no need to come in for blood work, if I had taken 3 tests and they were all positive. She set me up with my first appointment, and transferred me to the billing department where I almost had a heart attack when they told me how much we had to pay.

"$430.50 a month for 6 months, and your first payment is due on Wednesday, June 24, when you come in for your first appointment."

Holy geesus. When I told Blue Eyes he didn't understand why we had to pay so much whenI have insurance. I explained to him that I hadn't met my deductible, and that is why. Fortunatley, I am able to change my insurance because of open enrollment, so all of my other payments will be much, much lower. We were so glad to hear that.

I went to my parents' house this weekend for our family reunion and Father's Day, and Blue Eyes stayed home so he could spend time with his Dad. I had been home for about an hour when I just blurted it out.

"I'm pregnant."

My Mom started jumping up and down, she was so excited. My Dad just stared at me.

Blue Eyes has been paying on an engagement ring for me since January, and we were going to go to Vegas in December to get married. We aren't engaged yet, but I knew about the ring and I knew he was going to ask me sometime this summer. We are doing everything backwards, obviously. So we are planning on getting married in August, at his Dad's home. It will just be our immediate family. He still has to propose to me though, of course!!

I went to the Doctor yesterday for my first ultrasound and the nurse couldn't see anything. I was really disappointed, because that was my main fear, not being able to see anything! She said she thought I was probably not very far along and sent me to get blood work done. I will go back Friday to get the second round of blood work to make sure my numbers are going up. Also, tonight I will start taking progesterone because that level was at a 12.1 and they want it over 20.

Please, if you pray, pray for us. I honestly never thought I could get pregnant because of the PCOS and now I am terrified. I'm not terrified to be a Mom, I just don't want anything happening to this baby. Pray that my numbers have doubled or tripled when I go back tomorrow please! We are so happy and cannot wait to start this life together.

Oh yea, I also felt it was necessary to take 7 tests. They were all positive. I just wanted to make sure!!!

And?!?! The nurse also said it looked like I had released a bunch of eggs at once, so, uh, yea. Twins anyone?? Triplets??