Dear Weekend:

You really SUCK for a girl on a diet. I mean, come on weekend. Couldn't you be a little bit easier on me? For 2 days (omg, i suck and have no will power, obviously) I did so good. I ate my three meals and two snacks that were approved and allowed on said diet. I felt good about myself for those two days. I lost a whole pound (which may or may not have been water weight but still it's a freaking pound!) and I was starting to think just maybe, maybe this was going to work for me. Maybe I wasn't going to be fat forever. But no. Then you graced me with your presence and RUINED it! You ruined it by inviting beer and more jalapeno poppers and banana pudding. And ranch dressing. And unauthorized marinade on my chicken boobies. And I'm sure there was something else, but now I can't remember. Oh, you forgot to invite water and vegetables, so thanks a lot Mister Weekend. And I know you are a Mister because only a MAN would forget to invite vegetables and water. And, thanks to your shenanigans, I gained that pound back. Normally I can't wait for the weekend to get here. Not in this case. I'll show you. While Mrs. Weekday is here, I'll show you. I will lose that pound and then some, so that when you roll back around, I will have will power. Your friends, beer, bacon, ranch and whateverelseicanteat, are NOT INVITED to my house next weekend. Do NOT bring them.