I Still Need Her

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

There is something about me that I haven't ever shared. And I say "about me" because your family is what makes you for the most part, right?

I have an awesome Mom. Seriously, she is such a good Mom. She didn't work when we were little so that she could stay home with us. She made us eat a healthy breakfast and we weren't allowed to eat a lot of sugar or sodas. We hated that then, but now I understand why. It was because she cared about us. She gives the best advice, and she is honest. And she is so kind to everyone she meets. She is compassionate for people she doesn't even know, and she never judges anyone.

When I was in the third grade, I liked this boy. His name was Joey English. My Mom was going to come eat lunch with me in the cafeteria (yuck) and I asked her to please wear the pretty scarf in her hair. She would always wear these scarfs in her soft blonde hair, and I thought she was sooo pretty (because she is) and I guess I thought that the boy would like me more if he saw how pretty my Mom was. Silly little third grader.

Anyway, about the part that I haven't ever shared with you. My Mom also happens to be a recovering alcoholic. She's been to rehab 4 times. When all of this happened it was so weird for us, because my Mom never drank when we were younger. It was when me and my brothers moved out, it started. She has stayed sober on and off over the last 3 years or so. There have been times when I really would have liked to slap her across the face. She's put my Dad through a lot of hard times as well as me and my brothers.

Yesterday, apparently, she went and got something to drink and she fell in the drive way and hit her head on my Dad's truck. My Grandma couldn't wake her up so she had to call an ambulance. Once she got to the hospital, they did a CT scan, just to make sure she didn't hurt herself.

They found a tumor.

My Mom has a tumor in her head. I am freaking out and I'm scared and I don't know what to do or think, because this is my Mom. I need her here for a lot longer. I need her to be here when I get married. And when I have a baby, because God knows, I won't know what to do. I need her to be ok. She goes to the Doctor again tomorrow, so hopefully there will be more information. But until then, I am freaking out. You know how people always say "everything happens for a reason"? Well maybe it was a good thing that she got drunk and hit her head so that she could have the scan. I don't know. I just know that I still need her.

11 peeps said....:

Anonymous said...

aww that made me cry well I love you and your mom and she is a very awsome woman thats why shes my god mom;) EVERYTHING is going to be fine! I love you!

Miss Rosa said...

This is making me teary.

I hope everything works out for you both!

Andhari said...

Oh my god, I hope they treat her good asap. All women will always need their moms.

justcallmenora said...

My brother had a brain tumor in October. It was the size of a quarter and luckily, it was benign. He under went intensive surgery and he is OK now.

I just want to let you know that I know what you are going through right now -- and I hope that your mom's tumor isn't malignant. A lot of brain tumors develop slowly over time, so there's a chance that she could have had it for a while and no one even picked up on it. It's a scary thought, but at least they found it now, rather than later.

I am wishing all the best for you and your family.

simple girl said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that your family is going through this. Be strong!

Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

OMG! I hope your mom is ok!!!!!! sorry you are going through this.

LiLu said...

Oh, honey, I am SO sorry. That is devastating news... I hope so hard that everything goes well, and she can be around for all of those things for you! *Big fat hug*

mylittlebecky said...

i'm sorry that you have to go through this... my aunt was diagnosed in february with a brain tumor. i will send positive thoughts your way!

Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

the new background is pretty!

Micheal and Ashley said...

Briana, I am so sorry to hear this. I will pray for you and your family that all goes well and that this will all go away. Let me know how her appointment goes.
Thinking and praying for the Smiths!
Love you!

Sophie said...

you made me cry...
Oh my god Briana, i hope the tumor go away.. :(
keep in touch