You really SUCK for a girl on a diet. I mean, come on weekend. Couldn't you be a little bit easier on me? For 2 days (omg, i suck and have no will power, obviously) I did so good. I ate my three meals and two snacks that were approved and allowed on said diet. I felt good about myself for those two days. I lost a whole pound (which may or may not have been water weight but still it's a freaking pound!) and I was starting to think just maybe, maybe this was going to work for me. Maybe I wasn't going to be fat forever. But no. Then you graced me with your presence and RUINED it! You ruined it by inviting beer and more jalapeno poppers and banana pudding. And ranch dressing. And unauthorized marinade on my chicken boobies. And I'm sure there was something else, but now I can't remember. Oh, you forgot to invite water and vegetables, so thanks a lot Mister Weekend. And I know you are a Mister because only a MAN would forget to invite vegetables and water. And, thanks to your shenanigans, I gained that pound back. Normally I can't wait for the weekend to get here. Not in this case. I'll show you. While Mrs. Weekday is here, I'll show you. I will lose that pound and then some, so that when you roll back around, I will have will power. Your friends, beer, bacon, ranch and whateverelseicanteat, are NOT INVITED to my house next weekend. Do NOT bring them.
Showing posts with label mmm beer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mmm beer. Show all posts
Weekend Review...And Away We Gooooo
Monday, May 18, 2009
This weekend was full of the following:
*Pizza, beer and falling asleep between 6pm-8pm on a Friday night
*Movies
*Sanding my finger nail off
*Really white ass cracks
*Eating candy for dinner
*Realizing bikes were not meant for vagina's
I know after reading that preview, you are dying to hear about it allllll!!!! So, on with the show!
Friday night, Blue Eyes and I were both so stressed out from work. Because of that one Nasty McNasterson (who, btw, quit over the weekend. pink eye my ass, mister), it made both of our jobs that much harder on Friday. Needless to say, beer and pizza were in the plans for our Friday night. The pizza was grrrreat, thank you Mister Papa John. Unfortunately, the only thing Mister Keystone did for us was make us very, very sleepy. We each drank one beer. (well, i wasted 2 beers because the mug i poured my first one into stunk like shrimp from the freezer) So I DRANK only 1. B.E. said he really needed to take a rest on the couch and I decided it was going to be a great time for me to redesign my bloggy blog. I sat down at my computer with said beer in hand, and sat there, and sat there, and sat there. Just staring at the screen. I want something so cute and so different, but I couldn't come up with anything. Around 8pm, I went and laid on the bed. At 10:30 I was awoken to a kiss and a hug. Apparently we had both fallen asleep between 6-8. Friday night FAIL.
Saturday we planned on working on the house some more. Yay. I got to sand some more of the wall. I sanded too far and off went the tip of my finger nail. See, this is why I don't like helping, I always get an injury! We didn't work too much on the house, so we decided to watch a movie, which turned into 3 movies on Saturday. We watched Taken(excellent), Twilight (awesome) and My Bloody Valentine (suck). It was nice and relaxing.
We spent most of Sunday doing laundry and cleaning up. We realized after eating our cream of wheat that we were very low on groceries. We don't get paid until Wednesday! Yikes. So we did what any responsible adult would do. We went and sold our DVD's that we don't watch to Hastings so that we could score us some snacks. $16.48 later, we went to Wal-Mart where we purchased cheese dip, pringles (pickle flavor, yum!) and candy. This is what we ate for dinner Sunday night. (don't feel sorry for us, i could have made sloppy josephs if i wanted to). After we ate our deee-lish dinner and watched Marley and Me (ohmygawd i was bawling), we went for a bike ride. I'll just go ahead and say that I'm pretty out of shape. BUT, what makes it even worse, is when you are riding behind your boyfriend, who doesn't care what anyone thinks about him, is showing crack for the entire world to see. Every.single.time we ride bikes, his ass crack is showing. I'm like, "OMG B.E. pull up your pants/pull down your shirt", while I'm laughing hysterically as another car passes us. Laughing while riding bikes WHILE you are out of shape is no easy task. He wouldn't because, again, that's B.E. and he does not care who sees his booty.
Also, there is no way that God ever intended bikes for a vagina. Not.at.all.
Just sayin'.
*Pizza, beer and falling asleep between 6pm-8pm on a Friday night
*Movies
*Sanding my finger nail off
*Really white ass cracks
*Eating candy for dinner
*Realizing bikes were not meant for vagina's
I know after reading that preview, you are dying to hear about it allllll!!!! So, on with the show!
Friday night, Blue Eyes and I were both so stressed out from work. Because of that one Nasty McNasterson (who, btw, quit over the weekend. pink eye my ass, mister), it made both of our jobs that much harder on Friday. Needless to say, beer and pizza were in the plans for our Friday night. The pizza was grrrreat, thank you Mister Papa John. Unfortunately, the only thing Mister Keystone did for us was make us very, very sleepy. We each drank one beer. (well, i wasted 2 beers because the mug i poured my first one into stunk like shrimp from the freezer) So I DRANK only 1. B.E. said he really needed to take a rest on the couch and I decided it was going to be a great time for me to redesign my bloggy blog. I sat down at my computer with said beer in hand, and sat there, and sat there, and sat there. Just staring at the screen. I want something so cute and so different, but I couldn't come up with anything. Around 8pm, I went and laid on the bed. At 10:30 I was awoken to a kiss and a hug. Apparently we had both fallen asleep between 6-8. Friday night FAIL.
Saturday we planned on working on the house some more. Yay. I got to sand some more of the wall. I sanded too far and off went the tip of my finger nail. See, this is why I don't like helping, I always get an injury! We didn't work too much on the house, so we decided to watch a movie, which turned into 3 movies on Saturday. We watched Taken(excellent), Twilight (awesome) and My Bloody Valentine (suck). It was nice and relaxing.
We spent most of Sunday doing laundry and cleaning up. We realized after eating our cream of wheat that we were very low on groceries. We don't get paid until Wednesday! Yikes. So we did what any responsible adult would do. We went and sold our DVD's that we don't watch to Hastings so that we could score us some snacks. $16.48 later, we went to Wal-Mart where we purchased cheese dip, pringles (pickle flavor, yum!) and candy. This is what we ate for dinner Sunday night. (don't feel sorry for us, i could have made sloppy josephs if i wanted to). After we ate our deee-lish dinner and watched Marley and Me (ohmygawd i was bawling), we went for a bike ride. I'll just go ahead and say that I'm pretty out of shape. BUT, what makes it even worse, is when you are riding behind your boyfriend, who doesn't care what anyone thinks about him, is showing crack for the entire world to see. Every.single.time we ride bikes, his ass crack is showing. I'm like, "OMG B.E. pull up your pants/pull down your shirt", while I'm laughing hysterically as another car passes us. Laughing while riding bikes WHILE you are out of shape is no easy task. He wouldn't because, again, that's B.E. and he does not care who sees his booty.
Also, there is no way that God ever intended bikes for a vagina. Not.at.all.
Just sayin'.
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