Showing posts with label fatty mcfatterson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fatty mcfatterson. Show all posts

Dear Weekend:

Monday, June 8, 2009

You really SUCK for a girl on a diet. I mean, come on weekend. Couldn't you be a little bit easier on me? For 2 days (omg, i suck and have no will power, obviously) I did so good. I ate my three meals and two snacks that were approved and allowed on said diet. I felt good about myself for those two days. I lost a whole pound (which may or may not have been water weight but still it's a freaking pound!) and I was starting to think just maybe, maybe this was going to work for me. Maybe I wasn't going to be fat forever. But no. Then you graced me with your presence and RUINED it! You ruined it by inviting beer and more jalapeno poppers and banana pudding. And ranch dressing. And unauthorized marinade on my chicken boobies. And I'm sure there was something else, but now I can't remember. Oh, you forgot to invite water and vegetables, so thanks a lot Mister Weekend. And I know you are a Mister because only a MAN would forget to invite vegetables and water. And, thanks to your shenanigans, I gained that pound back. Normally I can't wait for the weekend to get here. Not in this case. I'll show you. While Mrs. Weekday is here, I'll show you. I will lose that pound and then some, so that when you roll back around, I will have will power. Your friends, beer, bacon, ranch and whateverelseicanteat, are NOT INVITED to my house next weekend. Do NOT bring them.








Vending Machine Repair Lady

Friday, June 5, 2009

My job requires me to do quite a few different things. I schedule appointments for Internet installs, fixes and disconnects. I turn you off if you don't pay. I send you a bill for the equipment if you don't return it.

I'm in control of the vending machine.

......

Yea. Just take a moment to let that sink in. Ok. Done? You should be.

I'm just going to go ahead and say, that the vending machine, yea, it's the hardest part of my job. I HATE that vending machine with a PASSION. It's a piece of junk (which is why I finally talked my boss into letting me order a new, improved RED one! It's pretty!) Anyway, where was I? Ahh, yes, the vending machine from hell. It is the biggest pile of crap I have ever had the pleasure of working with. It leaks water like a mofo. The manufacture said it's "because we live in Texas, and it's humid." What-ev-uhhh dooode. The machine isn't outside! It takes money and doesn't give you your snack and the cans get stuck and then they explode, leaving me a mess to clean up. I have to get up at least 8 times a day to help someone with it. We are loosing money now because no body trusts it. I have to think of some better items to put in the new machine, so I can gain their trust back!Yea, that should do it.

I am so glad I get to order a new one today! Maybe I won't have to deal with it as much! The only fun part is going to Sam's to buy all the stuff for it. That's fun. Because it's not my money.

Day 1 of my diet went good yesterday. Until dinner. Blue Eyes just HAD to make jalapenos on the grill. The peppers, I can eat. The bacon, yea, not so "allowed" unless it was turkey bacon and of course it was not. I also messed up because I ate a "no added sugar" Popsicle and it was supposed to be "sugar free". Dammit with all the technicalities. I still managed to lose half a pound. Yes, I'm counting half pounds.

I made a yummy breakfast this morning. Scrambled eggs with chives OH MY! Sorry. And I gulped down another V8 (is that not the smallest bowl of eggs you've ever seen?). I swear I can feel the V8 coming back up my throat while I'm drinking it. I hope I don't screw everything up this weekend!

Here's to thinking positive!

Thank You!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

First of all, thank yall so, so much for the nice comments that were left on my post yesterday. Even though I don't personally know most of yall, it still meant a lot to me.

My Mom is going to be ok! Her Doctor wanted her to come in yesterday, and he told her it was not a "bad" tumor and it looked liked she has had it for awhile. He said something about blood vessels forming.....I'm really not sure. I just know that she is going to be ok. I was really worried and I know she was too, so I'm very thankful that she got some good news. So thank yall again for the prayers and positive thoughts that were sent!

I started my diet today. So far, it's going good. I mean, it's only 10am, but still, I'm doing good! This morning for breakfast I ate 2 hard boiled eggs and I drank a hot and spicy V8. I'm not a big fan of V8. It is so thick and it's really hard to swallow, but at least I got a full serving of vegetables at breakfast! Hopefully, I will learn to love it. I have to really plan all my meals and snacks the night before so I'm not sure I really like the time that took me last night, but I think it will be worth it.

Blue Eyes and I went and played tennis last night. We stayed for approximately 7 minutes. A tennis player, he is not. I wish I knew someone here that played tennis. I think it was his goal to be as bad as he possibly could be, so that I would stop asking him to play with me. Sneaky.

OH the thing, from the other day, that I couldn't tell yet? I had a job interview for a company that I've been wanting to work at for awhile. She said she would call me for a 2nd interview, but she hasn't yet, and now I'm not excited about it anymore. Oh well. Something will come along.

And lastly, my girls over at The Two Twins and I will be starting something next Wednesday we would like to call, Goodwill Wednesday. We will be purchasing treasures from the wonderful place known as Goodwill, and posting pictures of them for your viewing pleasure. Just in case you don't know what can be found at Goodwill, you will after next Wednesday. And what's so fun is that we will be able to see the different treasures from Texas and Pennsylvania! This should be interesting. I am also planning on selling all my treasures on here, so be sure you place a bid, because I have a feeling you are not going to want to miss out on the awesomeness that I will be selling!

Have a great Thursday!

Where Have I Been?

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Oh wow.

Over 1 week.

I have been really busy with work and really busy at home and I haven't really even had time to read blogs let alone take the time to write in my own. Blue Eyes and I have been going to the lake the last couple of weekends to fish and hang out. Last weekend we were on the lake for 7 hours. I caught a small fish. That is all. He caught a sunburn. It was still fun though.

I'm still getting headaches almost everyday, so that's not fun. I just keep taking my medicine though and hope that I'm not destroying my liver in the process.

Something happened this morning and I'm excited about it, but I can't say what it is. Not yet. Maybe in a few days I can. Ewww....ahhhh.....the suspense is killing you, I know it!

I'm starting the South Beach Diet Thursday. Wicked has inspired me, and it's going to work for me, I know it. So tomorrow when I get paid, I will go buy all healthy groceries and I will keep yall updated on how it's working for me. I'm still doing my at home exercises (sometimes). I have a really, really cute pair of jeans that I bought 2 years ago, that still have the tags on them, because I swore to myself THEN that I would wear them. I didn't think it would be this long. They are a size 9. I'm not telling what I wear now, but I will say, it's not a size 9.

Oh look. It's only 10am. Crap.

Weekend Review...And Away We Gooooo

Monday, May 18, 2009

This weekend was full of the following:

*Pizza, beer and falling asleep between 6pm-8pm on a Friday night
*Movies
*Sanding my finger nail off
*Really white ass cracks
*Eating candy for dinner
*Realizing bikes were not meant for vagina's

I know after reading that preview, you are dying to hear about it allllll!!!! So, on with the show!

Friday night, Blue Eyes and I were both so stressed out from work. Because of that one Nasty McNasterson (who, btw, quit over the weekend. pink eye my ass, mister), it made both of our jobs that much harder on Friday. Needless to say, beer and pizza were in the plans for our Friday night. The pizza was grrrreat, thank you Mister Papa John. Unfortunately, the only thing Mister Keystone did for us was make us very, very sleepy. We each drank one beer. (well, i wasted 2 beers because the mug i poured my first one into stunk like shrimp from the freezer) So I DRANK only 1. B.E. said he really needed to take a rest on the couch and I decided it was going to be a great time for me to redesign my bloggy blog. I sat down at my computer with said beer in hand, and sat there, and sat there, and sat there. Just staring at the screen. I want something so cute and so different, but I couldn't come up with anything. Around 8pm, I went and laid on the bed. At 10:30 I was awoken to a kiss and a hug. Apparently we had both fallen asleep between 6-8. Friday night FAIL.

Saturday we planned on working on the house some more. Yay. I got to sand some more of the wall. I sanded too far and off went the tip of my finger nail. See, this is why I don't like helping, I always get an injury! We didn't work too much on the house, so we decided to watch a movie, which turned into 3 movies on Saturday. We watched Taken(excellent), Twilight (awesome) and My Bloody Valentine (suck). It was nice and relaxing.

We spent most of Sunday doing laundry and cleaning up. We realized after eating our cream of wheat that we were very low on groceries. We don't get paid until Wednesday! Yikes. So we did what any responsible adult would do. We went and sold our DVD's that we don't watch to Hastings so that we could score us some snacks. $16.48 later, we went to Wal-Mart where we purchased cheese dip, pringles (pickle flavor, yum!) and candy. This is what we ate for dinner Sunday night. (don't feel sorry for us, i could have made sloppy josephs if i wanted to). After we ate our deee-lish dinner and watched Marley and Me (ohmygawd i was bawling), we went for a bike ride. I'll just go ahead and say that I'm pretty out of shape. BUT, what makes it even worse, is when you are riding behind your boyfriend, who doesn't care what anyone thinks about him, is showing crack for the entire world to see. Every.single.time we ride bikes, his ass crack is showing. I'm like, "OMG B.E. pull up your pants/pull down your shirt", while I'm laughing hysterically as another car passes us. Laughing while riding bikes WHILE you are out of shape is no easy task. He wouldn't because, again, that's B.E. and he does not care who sees his booty.

Also, there is no way that God ever intended bikes for a vagina. Not.at.all.

Just sayin'.

Stop Me If You've Heard Me Say This Before

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

I'm trying to lose weight.

Yea, I'm going to talk about this again. Because apparently, talking about it here and here and here wasn't enough. After seeing pictures from our vacation, I am so disgusted with myself. I was doing really, really good when I first moved in with B.E. I don't know what happened. I do know that it's very hard to cook extremely healthy dinners for a guy who could literally live off of steak, potatoes and corn for the rest of his life. So, my only other option is to try and limit any snacking, and eat a healthy breakfast and dinner. Oh yea, and work out. Boo.

I can't afford to pay for a gym membership every month, so I have devised (with the help of Google) a workout plan I can do at home. And because I know everyone loves reading about other people's work out plans (at least I do) I am going to show you mine!! Also, feel free to leave me comments and ask me if I'm sticking to my plan. I promise I won't lie and tell you that I am!!

If you have any suggestions for at home work outs, please feel free to tell them to me!!

Oh yea...I got the results back from my blood test that I had done. It came back normal and they gave me some medicine to take if I get anymore headaches. I took it this morning and it made me soooo drowsy. Grrrreat.

Ok...now on to the work out plan.

Monday

*Walk 30 minutes

*Squats: 4 sets 30, holding 5lb dumbbell

*Wall pushups: 3 sets 20

*Ab workout

Tuesday

*Walk 30 minutes

*Jumping jacks: 5 sets 20

*Stepping: 3 sets 20, porch steps

Wednesday

*Walk 30 minutes

*Squats: 4 sets 30, holding 5lb dumbbell

*Wall pushups: 3 sets 20

*Ab workout

Thursday

*Walk 30 minutes

*Jumping jacks: 5 sets 20

*Stepping: 3 sets 20, porch steps

Friday

*Walk 30 minutes

*Squats: 4 sets 30, holding 5lb dumbbell

*Wall pushups: 3 sets 20

*Ab workout

Breakfast M-F

Oatmeal and hard boiled egg OR

Oatmeal and toast

Snacks

Almonds, celery, low fat string cheese






What Compares With A Fanny Pack?

Monday, April 13, 2009

Blue Eyes and I are going to Six Flags next month. I want to take lots of pictures. Problem. I do NOT want to drop and break my camera as we are flying through the air on a fantabulous roller coaster. Now, I remember back in the day when my parents' would take my brothers and I to Six Flags and my Mom would wear a *gasp* fanny pack. Yea, I am most definitely not going to be purchasing a fanny pack. Do they even sell those anymore? And what kind of name is fanny pack?

So peeps, what can I get that is cute, fashionable and safe for my beloved camera????

Oh yea, I must tell you, we had a great Easter, but do to the fact that I look like a fat HIPPO in all the pictures I took, there will be none posted. Maybe next time!

Potty Breaks

Monday, March 30, 2009

Today won't be a MonDayDream. I'm not really day dreaming right now. I'm floating actually. Why you ask? Because it is my goal to drink 24oz of water each hour today. Every hour. It's hard! But I have to get in shape before May. Serious shape. First of all, I have a bet going with my brother to see who can lose the most weight. Secondly, Blue Eyes and I are going to Six Flags in May and then to Longview to visit some of his friends from when he lived there. It's a girl. I'm not jealous or anything, but I want to look the best I can. I want his friends to say, "He has a HOT girlfriend!" I already have in my head a really cute outfit for Six Flags and I just really need to lose weight. When I first moved in with B.E., I lost a lot of weight just by watching what I was eating. I wasn't working out or anything. So, I'm going to try to eat a tiny amount of food each day, and drink all my water, AND me and my friend Ashley are going to start walking tonight! I'm pretty excited about that, because I don't get to see her very often, and I love talking with her.

Well, wish me luck. I know I won't ever be stick figure thin, Like Paris Hilton, because I have way too much muscle for that. And I don't want to look like that. What I would like to look like is:
It will happen. PROMISE!!!!!

I'm Not Religious But...

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I am so giving up sweets and beer for 40 days. My pants are cutting off my circulation, so I figured now was a pretty good time to give up my biggest temptations.

Gawd help me.


Failure

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


I am such a failure!!!

If you will recall, my company started that 6 week weight loss crap totally awesome fundraiser. I am doing HORRIBLE! Let's just discuss how this is going. Every Tuesday morning, I wake up and make sure I have absolutely nothing to eat or drink until I have weighed in. Right before I walk in to weigh, I pee. Because, you know, every ounce counts. The first weigh in was good. I lost .4lbs. Nothing to be real excited about. Second weigh in. Not so good. I gained 1.7lbs. Whoops. "Too many drinks on the River Walk", I said. Third weigh in. Son of a beeeeeeep. I gained 1.4lbs. I didn't have an excuse this time. I cannot afford to pay for every damn pound I gain, so I have a new plan.

Bulimia.

I'm kidding of course. Eating disorders are not something I would ever joke about. I have a very dear friend who suffered from this and it's really heartbreaking to see any woman resort to it. But, weight loss challenges like this really aren't good for women. I leave that room after I weigh in hating myself more than I did when I went in there. And when I say "hating myself", I don't mean I have suicidal thoughts and want to end my life. I mean, I really hate that I am gaining back the weight that I lost after the break-up.

So I say a big Screw You to chocolate, red meat, chips and sodas. SCREW YOU. You will not get the best of me with your tastiness. (except if I get candy for v-day. i don't want to waste it)

Anyone have any helpful ideas?!?!?!




Randomness and Stuff

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Note: I can see all of you looking at my blog..why don't you ever leave me comments?!?!?!?!?!

My company has decided to have a weight loss challenge. Hells Yeah!

It goes a little something like this: We start today, and it ends March 3. 6 weeks. Not too bad. The entry fee is $10.00 and we weigh in every Tuesday. For every pound you gain, you pay $1.00. For every weigh-in you miss, you pay $1.00. The person that loses the most weight wins half of the entry money, and the other half goes to Relay for Life. The money that is collected for missed weigh-ins and gaining weight also goes to Relay for Life. So it's for a really good cause, and I think it will help me to lose more weight if I know someone is weighing me every week. They post our names out in the hall but NOT with our weight. Only if we have gained or lost any weight. I do not want to pay anything, so I'm hoping to not gain at all. Or miss any weigh-ins.

Anyone have any ideas on how to lose the most weight in a week? I think I can pull off losing 12 pounds in a week. I've done it before, so it shouldn't be too hard. Give me any ideas you may have PLEASE!!

I start school again today. I have Anatomy on Tuesdays and Thursdays and then I have Psychology and Nutrition online. I will be busy, busy. I need all A's!!! Wish me luck!

My relationship with Blue Eyes gets better every single day. He loves me, and he tells me all the time. This is exactly what I have waited for and wanted out of a relationship for a very long time. If you want to tell someone you love them, then tell them! Don't assume they know. I love him. I love him. I love him. He is so perfect for me. And I'm perfect for him. He is my other half.......

I'm Stuffed

Friday, November 28, 2008

The day after Thanksgiving really STINKS! Not only do I have to work-gross....but, I always feel like I gained five pounds in one sitting. Oh well, I'll just have to work out extra hard next week!

My Thanksgiving was good. I got to see my family and ROWDY!!! I don't remember if I ever posted about this or not, but Rowdy lives with my parents now. He is so happy there. It broke my heart to see him though, because I really miss him a lot! He slept with me when I was there and I just loved on him so much. I'll get to spend more time with him at Christmas, and I can't wait! Brandon went home with me for Thanksgiving so that was fun. My parents like him A LOT! He and my Dad were sitting on the couch talking and I have never heard some of the stories my Dad was telling him about all his old trucks that he has had. My Dad does not usually sit and talk and tell stories to anyone, so I know he really likes him a lot.

We are going to Abilene tonight to take my brother something we brought back from Lampasas for him. I'm so glad it's Friday!!

In other exciting news I've lost 20 pounds since leaving the "ex". Oh yes. It's amazing what NOT sitting around watching TV every night will do for you.

Ha.